For the technologically challenged,like yours truly

Hello my fellow retards!!! The world has slipped effortlessly into the abyss of technology…where five year olds have figured out how to work an iPod…where my 16 year old cousin works with a gigantic Korg Kronos,whose name and exact function I wasn't aware of till he bought it. And whilst most of us are keeping pace with this gadget craze, I beg to differ. In fact, I beg to be excluded, without a derisive snort or a “you don’t know this???”

            Yes, I am technologically challenged, for want of a better word. I know the basics of a mobile phone; I know how to make PowerPoint presentations. Hell, I figured out how to post this article on the blog, didn't I??? But no, I’m not equipped to deal with Movie maker Picasa,photofunia and all the new softwares that basically let you snip, color,polish and whip out pictures,documentaries,edited songs and animations. I suck at such stuff. So this article is dedicated to all those, like me, who are blissfully unaware of all that we are unaware of!

                Most of my friends know gadgets like the back of their hand. They throw words like ‘wireless fidelity’, ‘IPv4’ and ‘proxy settings’ like they were ‘thank you’ and ‘ssup?’  I am sorry, but I do not speak gadget. I wish they had a subtitle to every technological term used, for illiterates like me, who could decipher what such terms meant. With all the new gizmos coming up, it is really difficult to know the difference between iPhone 4S and 5, and why android and java differ, and why computers are just so evil. Just recently my sister bought a Dell laptop, whose display conked off within 6 months of purchase. A frantic visit to the Dell store informed her that the entire new batch of Dell laptops was faulty and would be giving this exact problem. Gadgets, gadgets, gadgets.

            Everyday I vow to learn a new and useful fact about technology, so that I can sound intelligent whenever someone asks my opinion on the same. I use Google as my secret weapon to find out stuff that is considered ‘general knowledge’. How else am I supposed to know and compare the prices of the various models of blackberry? The new and improved iPad? The apps that android offers? The reasons why Nokia lumia is over hyped and why the debate about whether apple is better or Samsung never ends???

            I often find myself bearing the consequences of being technologically backward when I buy a new gadget, like a laptop. The series of questions that follow make me feel like I’m a nasty girl who murdered a harmless old couple next door for money.

What’s the model? Oh well, that’s easy, I think.

Memory? Easy peasy.

Windows edition? Xp or 7 or vista? I think it was windows 7…but then again…

Hang on, the worst isn't over yet.

Then comes the “operating system? How many bits is it?”

“Which connection have you set up?? Dial up or bsnl or VPN or ad hoc???”

 I think I will just drop the wretched laptop into the sea.

           People who are gadget freaks, at peace with their play stations and tablets, look down upon us and think “When did this happen to them?” They find it astounding that a peer from their very own generation has difficulty grasping the intricacies of Photoshop and LAN. But our parents feel comforted, knowing that their sons and daughters don’t look down upon them as “technologically handicapped”. Hell, my mother and I figured out many apps and softwares together! What was atrocious for many became amusing for us.

           Then again, I know many successful people, who make up for what they lack in the virtual world, by their knowledge in the real one. Many doctors who are gods in the O.T., and can’t figure out the difference between a jpeg file and a pdf one. Many writers, who are extremely well versed with MS Word, but ask them about creating a website, and they will blanch. Many lawyers who don’t know what twitter exactly is. We don’t need to be gizmo addicts to keep pace with the world. What we need is an open mind and plenty of imagination.

      I encounter many handicapped souls like me everyday, who are mocked by their lack of understanding about TCP/IP and encryption type and access point. No matter what, we all will survive, provided we learn to laugh at ourselves. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Man wasn't born with technology. He invented it. Granted, these inventions are extremely useful. Granted, they make life fun and add novelty to simple tasks. Get acquainted with these inventions to the best of your abilities, but don’t forget that the best communications will still be verbal, the best visuals will still be those existent and the best friends will still be those in body and flesh, not virtual!

          Till next time, my fellow sluggers!!!